Starting off 2012 on the Right Foot

We are now 2 weeks into 2012, and although I haven't finished my Year in Review of 2011, or really set my goals for the rest of this year, I have made one decision that I hope will have a lasting effect in 2012. Last week I joined Weight Watchers with my friend, Chrissy. I have put on about 20 pounds since my mother got sick in August, and I had pretty much stopped exercising. In all fairness, I didn't have a lot of time or energy to devote to eating right and exercising, and my emotions were definitely getting the best of me.

Ok, hold on. While that last statement is the truth, it is a cop-out. The decision I made after the new year was not to make any more excuses. I decided that I was tired of eating my feelings and using any excuse not to take care of myself. I mean, seriously. How hypocritical was I?! I was treating my body like crap, and ignoring my mental health, all while blaming my parents for not taking care of themselves enough to still be on this earth!

It's not like losing weight isn't on my list of resolutions every year. In fact, getting healthy and losing weight were #1 on the list last year! I had a good start in 2011. I joined a gym, lost some weight, and felt a little bit better about myself. That all came to a screeching halt in the middle of August when my mother went into the hospital. From that point on I spent a lot of time travelling, grieving and trying to avoid my feelings. Food was my go-to mood enhancer. Well, not anymore! I'm using diet and exercise (Zumba and workout videos) to get back on track.

With Weight Watchers I am focused on every food that I put in my mouth. I'm learning to pay attention to portion size, and make better decisions about which foods I want to spend my points on.  I'm drinking a lot more water and I'm down to 1-2 diet cokes per day, which is a huge success in my book!

I guess we'll see how my choices translate on the scales. Tuesday is weigh-in day. My starting weight (and I can't believe I'm going to put it in print) was 184.2. Of course that's with capris, a t-shirt and a fleece jacket on. I'm hoping to see 180 lbs. on Tuesday! I worked out 4 days this week, and I intend to work out pretty hard tomorrow.  My ultimate goal weight is 145 lbs so I have a ways to go. Wish me luck!


Are you making healthy changes for the new year? I'd love to hear about it in the comments section!

Out of the Mouths of Babes

My Youngest Monkey

My three year old is chatter box. He moves easily from one topic to the next, asking lots of questions and giving long drawn out explanations for things. There are times where I'm not sure he is breathing between sentences.

We were in the car the other day, and this was the conversation that we had:






Him: Mommy, I need to have a birthday. I need to be 4.

Me: (Thinking this is because he knows we are going to Disney World after he turns 4.) Why do you need to have a birthday? What happens when you turn 4?

Him: I won't be 3 anymore!

He was dead serious.! I love what their little minds think up!

2011: A Year in Review - Top Blog Posts

I started the year strong, with lots of blog posts, but I had a huge lull from May to November. Despite that, there were some posts that stood out as the most visited. Here they are again, in case you missed them!

5. Chocolate Chip Irish Creme Cupcakes: These are some of the best cupcakes I have ever tasted!

4. Tuesday Tutorial: Cupcake Tower: I have now made several of these and they are a lot of fun!

3. Soccer Party Printables: Taking a queue from TomKat Studios, I designed my own soccer cupcake toppers and posted them as a free download!

2. Mickey Mouse Birthday Party: I made a cupcake tower, homemade cupcakes and lot of other Mickey shaped goodies!


1. Recipe Review: Cinnamon Roll Pancakes from Recipe Girl: I didn't even have time to take pictures of my final product, but this post was a big hit! The pancakes were an even bigger hit. My family went nuts over them!

Well, that about does it for my top 5 blog posts of 2011. Here's to an even better 2012!

2011: The Year in Review - Our Anniversary

OK folks, I'm not gonna lie. 2011 sucked! I could bore you with the details, but I have already written about the big things, like my job and getting through the holidays without my parents (I'm not ready to blog about my mom's death in August). Instead, I'd like to focus on the positive, which is one of my goals for 2012. So I'm kicking off a new mini-series of posts called 2011: A Year in Review. I'm starting with a big milestone that we hit this year.

In May of 2011 my husband and I celebrated 10 years of marriage. 10 years!!! We were supposed to go to Paris, but after having to pay taxes, instead of the getting a return, and waiting to buy our airfare until the prices were sky high, we had to go with Plan B. Went went to Walt Disney World in Orlando without the kids, and had a fantastic time! 

At Epcot

At Hollywood Studios

At Magic Kingdom

Our Anniversary dinner at Chip and Dales Harvest Feast in the Land Pavilion in Epcot

Our Anniversary card from the gang

Our gift from the House keepers! 

It wasn't Paris, but it was as close to a perfect second honeymoon trip as it could be! My husband and I are huge Disney dorks, so it was great to do all of the things that we never get around to with the kids! We tried to eat at restaurants we hadn't been to before (and found a lot of great ones too!), and see attractions that we hadn't seen before. Some of our favorites were the Lights, Motor, Action! Speedway and the Backlot tour in Hollywood Studios, and the Jungle Tour and Carousel of Progress in Magic Kingdom. Of course we did all of our forever favorites to like the Tower of Terror (which is so much better at night), Soarin', Thunder Mountain Railroad and Expedition Everest. 

We rode the Safari ride in Animal Kingdom with a celebrity:  

David Annable (Justin Walker on Brothers and Sisters) and his wife

and we were treated like celebrities:

In the Directors' chairs at Lights Motor Action!

All in all, it was a fabulous trip. It gave us some time to reconnect, and it gave my children 6 days of quality time with their grandmother before she passed away. It was a win-win! 

Our next trip is planned for October 2012 when we'll be going with one of my best friends from Vermont and her family. The 6 kids will range in age from 2 to 14, so it should be interesting! I am really looking forward to it though! We need our annual trip to the Happiest Place on Earth! 

Roundup of Christmas Cookie Recipes

I have been a buys little baker lately. I have a few favorites recipes that I make every year around the holidays, but I try to add in a few news one here and there to see if they could become favorites. Every year I make shortbread cookies from an old family recipe, and oatmeal craisin cookies from a Southern Living at Home book that I have. Last year I added Candy Cane Kiss sugar cookies (pictured above) from Recipe Girl to my annual baking.

This year I decided to try these:

Chocolate Whoopie Pies with Peppermint Frosting. I used the whoopie pie recipe posted on bakerella.com, but I bought Betty Crocker Peoppermint Frosting to pipe between the cookies. I used a Silpat liner instead of parchment paper and it worked like a dream!  I haven't tried these yet, but I rolled the edges in red and green sprinkles so they look very festive!

Butter Toffee Cookies from recipegirl.com. Instead of sprinkling bright white sugar on top, I dipped half the cookie in milk chocolate. They look fancy!

Peanut Brittle from recipegirl.com. This was my first attempt at peanut brittle. I bought a new candy thermometer, just for this recipe. It turned out awesome!

Peanut Butter Blossoms from allrecipes.com. These are fantastic! The recipe made about 7 dozen cookies too!

Holiday Baking Spread 2011

(ETA: I also made chewy coconut cookies and eggnog pound cake. Both were awesome!)

For breakfast I'm going to make these to go with our traditional cinnamon rolls:

 Blueberry Danish Puff from Chef in Training

The Puff I made at Thanksgiving

and Mini Maple Pancake Muffins from Bakerella.

These are so great when you have a crowd for breakfast!

I'm looking forward to eating all of these yummy treats, but I'm not looking forward to the diet I'm going to be on in January!

Merry Christmas!!! 

Getting Through the Holidays

Our last Vermont Thanksgiving

For me, the holidays have always been a joyful time of year. Time to be with family, be grateful for what we have, make some good memories. This year is the first year that we are celebrating without either of my parents, and it is hard. Really hard.

Growing up, we spent Thanksgiving with my mother’s side of the family. Everyone would get together at my grandparents’ house and we would share in all of the responsibilities that go along with feeding and entertaining 20-30 children and adults.  It was the day that Christmas card photos were taken and memories were made. We sang, we played games, we ate and we laughed. I have so many memories of that time spent with my family, and I am so grateful for each and every one of them. I want that for my kids. I hope that they will one day cherish their memories of the holidays as I do mine.

I managed to get through Thanksgiving pretty well, mostly because I was busy spending time with my husband’s family, and trying to make the holiday special for the kids. Now it’s December, and all eyes are on Christmas, but I’m having a hard time feeling the joy of Christmas that is usually radiating from me this time of year.

                                         

It’s December, the “Season of Giving,” and I have only bought a few small things at Five Below. I’ve only made half a batch of cookies, and my wish list is only 2 items long. I just can’t seem to get into it this year. Of course, because I have kids, I am faking it the best way I know how - by sticking with tradition.  I made shortbread cookies and we all decorated the tree together while listening to Christmas music. I hung our stockings and put up the rest of the decorations. The hard part came when the boys went to bed, and it was just my husband and I in the living room, looking at the tree and listening to the music. Sitting there in the dim light from the Christmas tree, all I could think about was what I was missing: my Mom and her exuberant laugh, and my Dad with his warm smile and generous spirit. Looking at their stockings hung above the fireplace made me realize that for the first time, neither of them would be filled Christmas morning. There would be no extra presents under the tree. I haven’t sat in the living room since.

My father died two weeks after Christmas, almost 5 years ago, and the pain has lessened, but it’s not gone. My mother died almost 4 months ago, and the pain from her passing has only been pushed aside by sheer willpower on my part to keep it out. My resolve is crumbling though, and it’s getting harder every day to keep my feelings at bay. I want to feel the spirit of Christmas. I want to sing Christmas songs with my kids, and get excited with them for Christmas morning. Instead I am dreading the whole thing. I wish I could put my head under my pillow until it all blows over…but I’m not going to do that. I’m going to find a way to make this holiday just as special as those in the past, for me and my family!  I may shed a few tears along the way, but I guess that is to be expected. I still have 3 beautiful, healthy children and a husband who adores me. I have a sister in France, and a brother in California who will be here to share the holidays with us, and we will make plenty of new memories together. I owe it to my kids. I owe it to my parents.

ETA: This post was written a few weeks ago and was scheduled to post, but didn't. Last week I made 4 batches of cookies and today I finally went Christmas shopping. I've also spent some time alone in the living room, and it's not as haunting as it was at first. I'm getting there! :)

Be Careful What You Wish For

Have you ever gotten exactly what you wished for, and then wonder why you wanted it in the first place? The reason I haven't blogged AT ALL in the last 5 months is because I got a job. A full time job. Something just for me, so I could feel fulfilled. Yay me! I also now have guilt, stress, exhaustion and a longing for the way things were.

Until recently I had not worked full time since I becoming a mother, except for when I was a nanny and took my oldest son to work with me. Since then I have worked as a server and bartender,  and I have been a real estate agent for a few different local firms. I am fortunate enough to have a husband who is willing to stay home with the kids while I work nights and weekends. He does a good share of the household chores and he does most of the cooking. I really can't complain. But I did.

As much as I loved being home with my kids, I didn't feel like my work was fulfilling to me personally. I felt unchallenged intellectually, and felt my chances of using the education that my parents paid for were slipping away with each passing day.  In addition, as the kids got older, and we had more of them, I started to resent having to share my nights and weekends with work obligations. It was necessary for me to be earning something, but I didn't want to give up my family time to do it. So my solution was to put my youngest son in daycare and get a full time day job. I wanted to prove (mostly to myself) that I was more than "just a mom" with a sewing machine, a crazy sweet tooth and a blog. I needed to show the world that I had more to offer and I could do it between the hours of 9am and 5pm, so my family time would be uninterrupted.

So about 6 months ago I applied for a job with a small staffing agency. The owner saw something in me that she could work with and she ended up offering me the Staffing Coordinator position with her company. She said I would be difficult to "sell" to her clients because I had never had a full-time office job, but I had a lot of marketable and translatable skills that she could utilize and enhance upon. I was thrilled. Ecstatic even! Finally, somebody saw me as something other than a wife, mother, or caretaker.

I began my job in June and by July I had already received a raise. By August I was on the fast track to becoming a senior recruiter and the head of business development. I felt like a million bucks! I never saw coming what happened next.

On the way home from work one day I received a phone call that my mother was in the hospital. Three weeks later, and on my son's 3rd birthday, she died. It.was.awful. I'll save the details for another time, but suffice it to say that after losing 2 parents in 4 years, I was very overwhelmed with grief. I managed to suppress that grief by focusing on my job, and all of the new obligations that my mother's death bestowed upon me. But instead of giving me comfort, my job has done nothing but cause me more stress. I am just trading one emotion for another.

It's amazing how the death of a loved one causes us to reorganize our priorities. All of a sudden, my need to feel fulfilled seems so petty compared to the needs of my family. I had everything that I (previously) wanted, but I was no longer happy! I probably should have quit my job immediately when my mother got sick, but hind sight is always 20/20, right?! I didn't quit right then for a number of reasons, but mainly it was because I'm a chicken and I hate confrontation.  It's also because I have been trained and groomed more than any person in my position before me. I am literally half of our staff, and my boss has come to rely on me heavily.

It was so hard to tell her that I needed to leave, but I finally did it. It was a huge weight lifted from my shoulders! My last day is December 16th and I am looking forward to spending more time with my friends and family, and giving back through volunteering!