My First Homemade Cake

I grew up with a Mom who made all (or most) of my birthday cakes and Halloween costumes. Unfortunately, I didn't appreciate it much then, but as I get older, I realize that she may have been on to something! I've been a sewing fool lately, and I'm really hoping that while my Mom is hear for the boys' party next weekend, she will show me how to do a few things that I haven't tried yet, like putting in zippers, and making clothes! She made all of her own clothes throughout high school, so she is a good resource for me!

Anyway, the point of this post is about the cake. I made my first ever, made from scratch yellow cake with homemade buttercream frosting. It is my intention to make both of the cakes for next week's party, and since today is my middle son's actual birthday, I thought it would be a good time to practice my technique. It's a good thing I did, because it didn't go quite as planned! Here's a picture of the cake baking in the oven:


Notice how it's overflowing onto the cookie sheet below it! I had to cut the top off when it was done and then part of the middle sank as it cooled.



Here is the finished product. I'm actually pretty proud of it!



Hopefully it will taste as good as it looks!

Edited to add: This cake was good, but I have come a long way since then! I have taken up baking as a hobby!

Going Dark: The Conclusion

I know it's been a while since I had my "low tech" week, but I wanted to write about how it affected me! Just to refresh your memory, here were the ground rules:

1. I will keep my cell phone turned on during business hours, as it is the only phone number that my clients have to reach me. I will not use said cell phone for personal use except for emergencies.

2. While I am at home I will turn off the following: my computer, tv, Wii, and cell phone. The kids will not be following the same rules, but their use of the television in particular (and thus, the Wii) will be restricted to when I'm not in the room.

3. I will check my personal email once a day (towards the end of the day) only to answer emails that require a timely response. I realize that even though I will not be using email to communicate, others who do not read this, may try to contact me by email, and I don't want to be rude by not responding.

4. I will not access the internet for any reason other than something directly related to work.

So how did I do? I did great as far as the TV and Wii were concerned. I did not watch anything on purpose (except for what you'll read below) and even went to bed without the TV in the background for noise. My husband was very excited about the latter.

I was in the middle of trying to sell a house that week (only my second this year) so I was on the cell phone and computer quite a bit more than normal, but it was all for work! I was also interviewing for a job with someone who preferred to communicate through email, so I had to check my personal email more than once a day. I think I only responded to one personal email and made 2 personal phone calls on my cell all week.

All in all, I'd say I stuck to the rules pretty well, until Thursday night (Day 6). Burn Notice was coming on that night and I had been a little stressed. I rewarded myself with a little TV and then I couldn't stop! I stayed up for 3 hours watching shows on the DVR. On Friday I went back to no TV though!

What did I accomplish during my black out? My to do list was this:

1. Write in all 3 journals that I started when I was pregnant with each of the boys
2. Clean out the boys' closets
3. Sort all of the clothes that don't fit the boys into Good Will bags and bins for the next one to wear
4. Take all the bags of clothes that we don't need to Good Will
5. Complete a few sewing projects that I have been asked to do
6. Mail some gender neutral baby items and maternity clothes to Michelle
7. Read at least one book!
8. Buy the boys' school supplies and get them ready for the first day
9. Put my Disney pictures in a photo album
10.Play at least one card game or board game each day with the kids.

Well, as far as this list goes, I failed miserably! I did #8 and started #7. I actually read (almost) every night before bed, which was quite a change for me. Unfortunately, I didn't pick a very fast paced book so I only got about 200 pages in. As for the rest of the list...well...I didn't even attempt most of it! I did play card games with the boys (every time they asked) and I updated Cohen's baby book, instead of writing in his journal. I did do a little organizing in his closet, but there is still a long way to go.

But all is not lost! Even though I didn't make it very far on my to do list, I did get a lot accomplished. I sold a house that week, which was great, but it also meant that I didn't have as much free time as I normally would have. All of that aside though, I came to some important conclusions during this process...



1. I can go to sleep without the television on!

2. I spend a lot of time of time on Facebook and reading blogs, but in the end, it's part of what keeps me sane! I noticed during my black out that I didn't really have a way to declutter my mind. For me, getting on the computer and surfing, reading, playing games, etc, is a great way to forget about what's going on for a few minutes. I found myself a little more short fused this week without it.

3. Balance is the key! Technology is a wonderful thing if you don't let it control your life! Without the distraction of technology I was more willing to play cards with the boys or take them outside. We spent more time together as a family too!

4. I rely on the internet for everything! It seemed like every 5 minutes I needed/wanted to look something up, whether is was a phone number, address, recipe, etc...It was really hard not having that resource at my fingertips!

5. And finally, I can conclude that there is no need to "Go Dark" again in the near future. I have seen the light and it is bright! As long as I maintain the balance, I think I'll be just fine!

Going Dark: A Challenge

My brother-in-law Wayne who writes Dad in the Middle, has decided to "Go Dark" for a week. With a few exceptions, he is going to put away his electronic communication and entertainment devices, like his cell phone, ipod, computer, the internet, email, the television, etc...Back in March I wrote an entry about how we stay connected through the internet, sometimes to the detriment of our personal relationships. I think Wayne was feeling the same way, and decided to shift his focus away from technology (for a week) and towards his family and God. I'm trying to decide if I
can
will join him.

I find that so often in my life I say "I just don't have time." Whether I'm talking about reading a book, cleaning the house, planting flowers, etc, the excuse is always the same. But somehow, I find time for
farting around on the internet
keeping in touch with my real life and online friends through face.book, t.witter, and online message boards. I play countless games of Bejeweled Blitz, Uno and Tetris, but I don't seem to have time to play cards with the boys when they ask.

What I'm trying to say is that I enjoy technology. I do. I just kind of miss the days when I didn't have a cell phone in my pocket at all times, a laptop next to the couch, and a tv with DVR in the living room and bedroom. Technology is allowing me to be lazy! I get to keep up with everyone, and let them know what I'm up to, without ever leaving my house!

For the last 3 weeknights I have been walking with other moms in my neighborhood for an hour a night...thanks to the neighborhood Yahoo group where we all agreed on a time and place to meet up! I've met more neighbors (from outside my cul de sac) in those 3 nights than I have the entire 3 years we've lived here! We talk about our kids, our husbands, our jobs and our weightloss goals, all while getting some serious exercise! It's been great, and it makes me look forward to exercising as opposed to dreading it. It's also been a time to unwind without my TV, cellphone or computer.

So I think this "Going Dark" idea can work. I'm not saying I want to get rid of the technology in my life for good...but I think that if I can go a week without it, then it might not remain such a dominant part of my life when the week is through. I think I just need to remind myself that there are other ways of staying in touch with people, without relying so heavily on electronic gadgets.

Ok, so I think I will go dark for the same week as Wayne; Saturday July 18 at 12am, until Friday July 24 at 11:59pm. I will follow most of the rules that he has set for himself, with the exception of the radio/ipod. I don't believe that the use of the radio/ipod in the car will get in the way of my communication/relationships with others, so I see no point in going without.

Here are the ground rules that I am setting for myself:

1. I will keep my cell phone turned on during business hours, as it is the only phone number that my clients have to reach me. I will not use said cell phone for personal use except for emergencies.

2. While I am at home I will turn off the following: my computer, tv, Wii, and cell phone. The kids will not be following the same rules, but their use of the television in particular (and thus, the Wii) will be restricted to when I'm not in the room.

3. I will check my personal email once a day (towards the end of the day) only to answer emails that require a timely response. I realize that even though I will not be using email to communicate, others who do not read this, may try to contact me by email, and I don't want to be rude by not responding.

4. I will not access the internet for any reason other than something directly related to work.

Basically, I will continue to use electronic communication for work (as it is nearly impossible to be a REALTOR without the internet and a cellphone), but will go without electronic communication for personal use. I'm interested to see how it goes. I have a feeling I will get a lot more done than I usually do!

My goal is to complete as much of the following as possible:
1. Write in all 3 journals that I started when I was pregnant with each of the boys
2. Clean out the boys' closets
3. Sort all of the clothes that don't fit the boys into Good Will bags and bins for the next one to wear
4. Take all the bags of clothes that we don't need to Good Will
5. Complete a few sewing projects that I have been asked to do
6. Mail some gender neutral baby items and maternity clothes to Michelle
7. Read at least one book!
8. Buy the boys' school supplies and get them ready for the first day
9. Put my Disney pictures in a photo album
10.Play at least one card game or board game each day with the kids.

I'd like to hear what you think about this challenge, so leave me a comment below. Do you think I'm crazy? Or would you like to join us?

Curve Balls

Life has thrown me a couple of curve balls lately, and I feel like I need to write about it to help me process. What I had planned for the next few years is now up in the air. My plan was to start school in the fall to get my Surgical Technician certification. I was going to start working full time next year in the fall, and life would continue with us as a family of 5. Now I'm not sure that school is an option this year, or if we will someday be a family of 6.

So here is what happened...I went to take my math placement test at the community college that I planned to attend. I aced the test and everything was good, until the advisor told me that I would need to take anatomy and physiology BEFORE I could start the surg. tech program. According to their website A & P is part of the first semester of classes. I had no idea I would need that before I would be admitted! They only start classes for this program in the fall, so she said that I would be looking at fall 2010 to get started. Have I mentioned that that wasn't part of the plan? She said that I could add my name to the applicant "pool" but that they only take about 16 or so students out of about 30 and most of them will have already had A & P, putting me farther down on the list. I'm just so frustrated! I thought I had it all planned out and now I don't know what to do. I'm taking a CNA class starting in April, so hopefully I can get a weekend job with that until I start school...

My second curve ball? My husband has said that he would not get snipped if I really want another baby. He said we could revisit the idea when the baby is about 18 months. Instead of jumping for joy though, I'm kind of torn. As much as I want another baby, I had a plan!!! Another baby doesn't fit into that plan. I can't afford to have 2 kids in daycare, so going to school wouldn't be worth it. If I found a job as a CNA on the weekends that I really enjoyed, I could do that with 2 kids, but I think my husband would kill me! I don't think he would be okay staying at home with 4 kids for 12 hours at a time, especially when the youngest would be an infant.

I had finally accepted that our family was complete, and for good reason, and now I just don't know. I know that there are no guarantees in life, and even if we decided to have another one, we would have to do IVF again. It worked once, but what if it didn't work the next time? What if we had a baby with special needs? But what if we could finally have a girl? Or a boy who actually looked like me? I love being pregnant, and I would love to have another baby, but I'm not sure it is the right thing to do. Besides, he just said we would table the discussion until the baby is 18 months old. He didn't say he would agree to it.

So now I need a new plan...but it looks like that plan is going to have to be flexible. I have a lot of thinking to do.

Staying Connected

I am just amazed at how "connected" we all are, without actually speaking to people in person. I am a perfect example of this. I have 2 blogs, one about my family and this running commentary. I am addicted to Face.book and recently signed up with Twitt.er, all in an effort to be and stay connected to my friends and family. The thing that I find most amusing is that I would find out a whole lot more (most of the time) if I just picked up the phone and used some of my 800+ minutes! Are we really so busy that we can't make personal contact anymore?

I think it says something about our society as a whole that we would rather sign into Face.book and view from the outside, than actually being a part of someone else's life. Take for instance the high school friend you haven't spoken to in 10 or 15 years who recently sent you a "friend" request. Come on, you know you have one! You accept graciously because you're curious what he/she and his/her family look like. You want to know the gossip and see the pictures but not really talk to that person! Am I right?

The same goes for the blogs that we read. It's a great way to follow along with our friends' lives, but also a source of entertainment. Admit it, you feel better about your own life sometimes after you read a few blogs! Sometimes you might even learn a thing or two from a blog...like how to make something. I read a ton of craft blogs to get ideas for new things to make, but I would learn a lot faster and probably be a lot better at my craft if I actually took a class with (gasp) real people.

Don't get me wrong...I'm not advocating a disconnect from all of these things. Like most things in life, moderation and balance are key. So keep writing (and reading) blogs and sharing your life on Face.book and twitter. But take a little time to connect by voice or in person with those people you treasure. You'll be amazed at how good that makes you feel!

Trying for a Girl

Why is it that when a family has children that are all the same sex, everyone wants them to "try again" for the opposite sex? It's as if having children that are all the same sex is somehow less desireable than having one (or some) of each. When a family has a boy and a girl, noone wants to know when/if they are going to have another child. They just assume that they have the "perfect" family and won't need any more.

When I was pregnant with my third child, my husband and my boys all wanted me to have a girl. I was the only one who wanted another boy. For me, having another boy was going to be easier. I know boys. I am comfortable with boys. And besides, my best friend has 3 girls, so I could get my girl fix anytime I wanted. When we found out that it was indeed going to be another boy, I had a brief moment of disappointment, but it wasn't anything major. Don't get me wrong...I wasn't disappointed that it was another boy. That's what I wanted, remember?! I was disappointed that it was my last child and I would never here those 3 words, "It's a girl!" Once the moment passed, I was thrilled that I would have 'My 3 sons.' I couldn't wait to decide on a name and paint the nursery. I couldn't wait to see which one of his brothers he would look like.

And still, once he was born and I had a beautiful baby boy in my arms, people still asked if I was planning on trying for a girl! Is it so unbelievable that I would be happy with the gender of my children? Is it crazy to think that 3 boys are enough, and I don't need a girl to feel fulfilled? My gorgeous family is complete and perfect just the way it is. I, for one, will not be trying for a girl!

We've come a Long Way - But We're Not There Yet

Today, we have a new President-elect: Barack Obama. Obama will be the 44th President of the United States and the first African American President ever elected in this great nation! I am overjoyed at the renewed feelings of hope that many Americans have right now and I look forward to the change that is coming our way. I am proud that the people of this country were able to overlook race, for the most part, and vote based on the issues and ideologies that they believed in. Unfortunately, some of those ideologies included decreased rights for homosexuals in several states.

Yesterday, Californians voted on Proposition 8, a measure to ban gay marriages in their state by way of a constitutional amendment. Much to the chagrin of many Californians and Americans alike, that measure has seemingly passed (There are still 3 million absentee ballots to be counted with the yes vote leading 52%.). It adds a passage to the state constitution that says “only marriage between a man or a woman is valid or recognized in California.” What I find most troubling about the passing of Proposition 8 is that African Americans voted overwhelmingly for it! I would think that a group of people who understand what it is like to be discriminated against based on something out of your control would have voted for equality. Instead, they voted to ban same sex marriages by a margin as high as 3 to 1. That just astounds me. How can you demand equality for some Americans and not others?

Also voted on yesterday was a proposal in Arkansas that non-married couples, including homosexual couples (already constitutionally banned from being able to be married in that state), not be allowed to adopt or foster children. With all of the children in this world who need a good, loving home and parent s to care them, it is amazing to me that we would let anything stand in the way of qualified individuals willing and wanting to foster and adopt, based on marital status and/or sexual preference.

In Florida and Arizona residents voted to amend their state constitutions to limit marriage to opposite sex couples. Florida’s measure would also ban civil unions, something still allowed in several states.

So while this day marks a historic victory for African Americans and people of all colors, it has been a day of defeat for many in the gay, lesbian and bisexual community, proving that even though we have come a long way, we still do not value every American as equal.